What is a Leader?

I have been thinking a lot over the last few weeks on leadership. I think it's an important question, and one that I believe a lot of people do not have a proper understanding of. What sparked my thoughts on this subject was a note on a white board at work where someone wrote the question "Is following the new leading?" and drew a box around it to draw attention to it. The question has been up for months now, and every time I see it I find my self considering what is meant by it. I thought often of why there needed to be a distinction between leading and following many years ago when on the job-hunt and filling out an application. The application asked if I was a follower or leader, and I was completely stumped. I am not a leader- I dislike being in charge and am soft-spoken and not confident or bossy. Yet I don't follow, either. I have always done my own thing. Obviously, in a situation where morals needed to be taken in consideration, that certainly has always swayed my choice in leading or following. In considering the question "Is following the new leading?", I brought it up to a few co-workers and there blossomed a thoughtful discussion.

What defines a leader? 
In a more obvious, outward sense, we recognize leaders as people who stand out. They are people who speak openly and take charge and take on responsibilities. I think it is admirable to have a voice in public, and to have people listen to you, but I do think that a leader is defined more precisely and much more deeply than by his or her outward appearance or actions.

What a leader is not. 
I do not believe that a leader is simply someone who delegates tasks or shares facts clearly. I do not believe that you are made a leader by your status, or by how many people follow you. A lot of people have followers, but they're not necessarily leaders. I have follows do lead, too. I do not believe that just because you are aggressive or competitive you are a leader. I don't agree that women can never lead. (I'm not feminist, I do believe men are made to lead, but it doesn't mean women can't also be a different kind of leader.) Leaders are not always born to be leaders. Having money or being nice doesn't make you a leader. Most of us can agree that there are many people who have leading positions but they do not handle their responsibilities quite the way a true leader should. Maybe you think that you should be a leader, because you have lots of opinions to fix this false leader's problem, but having great ideas doesn't necessarily make you a leader. So then, what makes a true leader?

What a true leader is. 
Simply put, a leader is someone twho sets a good example. When my co-workers and I tried to think of people we thought who were great leaders, we settled on the greatest example: Jesus. While Jesus did speak and share the gospel publicly, that wasn't the only thing He did that drew people to Him. People came to Jesus because He lead by His example. He had suffered in His lifetime, was tempted, was hurt, was humiliated but never sinned. There is no better leader than one that you know has been where you've been. Leaders we are magnetized to are the ones that we relate to. They don't just delegate tasks and speak honestly, but they are also kind. I can name many introverted women in my life who do not see themselves as leaders, but they most certainly are. They have beautiful hearts and have experienced great pain; they are soft-spoken and kind, but they are also firm. I call them leaders because they are people I want to be like one day. They have lead by their daily examples. Jesus is someone we want to be like because we respect and love Him. We follow Him, leading others in our role as fishers of men, because of His example. In light of that, I think that you could also answer the question "Is following the new leading?" with the reverse of the question: "Is leading the new following?" because if you are following Christ, then you are also called to be a leader. This means you must follow His example so that you can be an example for others.

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As for Lyla's interview, I would like to have it up on the blog by February 9th. This is four days from Lyla's birthdate, if you were wondering (February 13th). There is still time to send any fun questions you can think of, either here or on my Facebook page. (See thumbnails on the top right panel for links.)

Thank you also to any of you who participated in the quick, impromptu poll on the Facebook wall. Your answers were great! I am slowly learning new things daily to improve my writing for you all. Part of that is also understanding who I am writing to! Such a simple, but very complicated question. I'm realizing that I need to write for you to to you. 

If you were curious, these were the results I received. (Voters could choose more than 1 category, so this is not per person but per votes.)

VOTERS     GENRE      

2                   Like (thumb's up)= Sci-fi              

5                   Heart= Fantasy             

3                   Laughing= Christian/ inpirational        

5                   Wow= Theological                                          

2                   Sad=  Different genre                  
4                   Historical Fiction                                                                
1                   Classics                                                                              
3                   Biographies & autobiographies                            
1                   Legal Fiction                                                        
1                   Medical                                                              
1                   Realistic fiction (Probably similar to inspirational?)    
1                   Kid's books                                                        
1                   Suspense                                                            
2                   Mysteries                                                              

If I were voting, I would have picked Fantasy (my favorite one), and sometimes these genres too: Sci-fi, Theological (do devotionals count?), Historical Fiction (I looooove Jane Grey & Elizabeth I), and Classics on a rare occasion.
Knowing these results is not going to change what I write about (because I already know who my ideal sort of reader is), but it did help me understand who is listening. Naturally, since Fantasy is my favorite genre, it's what I write the most of.
Thank you, everyone!

Beautiful Books Link-up

I've decided to join in the Beautiful Books link-up! It looked like too much fun! 

1. What were your writing achievements last year? 

Last year I had only one goal: write. I had hoped to write one page a day (week days only). I think I did alright, but I could have done better. My achievements throughout the year were more in learning the process than accomplishing goals. I learned that it's okay to let go of pieces of work at any time and it is okay to take a break from them. Sometimes it is needed.

2. What's on your writerly "to-do list" for 2017? 

I would like to accomplish at least 500 words a day and finish a first draft of something. I planned in November to buckle down on Lyla's story, and this month I've gotten side-tracked with a new one. I think this was a result of stress, so I'm not going to fight it this time (I used to) but ride it out and see what becomes of Ember's story. 

3. Tell us about your top priority writing projects this year!

Lyla: Lyla's story is slightly steampunk; it is Victorian but involves mythological creatures (I've an interest in Celtic mythology) and one other character who is... other (*wink wink* can't say what). Exploring themes and morals is something I really enjoy in the writing process, so I'd like Lyla to learn about loyalty and trust. 

Ember: Ember appears to be leaning towards dystopian in tone, and think she needs to learn forgiveness and that change can be alright. 

Blogging: Finally, I'd like to keep up with producing blog posts regularly that are both edifying to God and intriguing to you all. 

4. How do you hope to improve as a writer? Where do you see yourself at the end of 2017? 

I hope to learn more about blogging and using social media wisely, but I also hope to learn more about structuring a story and how to balance my fly-the-seat-of-your-pants urge in writing with better structure. Proof of that success will be if I can finish a first draft of either Ember or Lyla's story.

5. Describe your general editing process. 

Weeeelll... This is sort of something new to me! Sort of. Typically, when I sit down to write I back up a few paragraphs or a page to catch up to where I left off and I end up editing that as I "get into the mode". This is not any major kind of edit, but often I find that in the moment I write so quickly that my ideas don't come off as clearly as I meant or even awkwardly. 

In the past I've made the mistake of editing my drafts over and over and then becoming frustrated with how it was not working out and how I'm never finishing anything. I have been learning that I need to pull back, and follow my writing instinct more strongly instead of allowing that trained Editor in my creep in. We're taught to revise and edit all the time in school and college, and it is hard to break away from that. It can actually halt or bruise the creative process if it gets too out of hand. 

Lyla is my practice for using structure. I'm holding back pieces in this work, and restraining my emotions on it to build it up from it's "blue print." 

Ember is less edited, with absolutely no prior structure created. I'm not ready to share her publicly because I've been pouring more emotion into her and I also don't know what direction her story will go. 

6. On a scale of 1-10, how do you think this draft turned out? 

So far? Um... 5. Hard to say. I know *I* like what I'm writing but I have that fear that just because I like it doesn't mean readers will. 

7. What aspect of your draft needs the most work? 

All of it. Haha. 

8. What do you like most about your draft? 

Lyla- The sass, of course, and Simon. I love writing scenes with them together, they are nothing alike. It's great fun to put two juxtaposed characters in a room together and see how they interact. 

Ember- I see a lot of colors in my mind when I'm writing Ember. I like her perseverance. Ember is brave. 

9. What are your plans for this novel once you finish editing? More edits? Finding beta readers? Querying? Self-publishing? Hiding it in a dark hold forever? 

Many of those, actually: finish first draft, edit, find beta readers, unsure about self-publishing or finding a publisher yet, but I won't be hiding them in a dark hole forever. 

10. What's your top piece fo advice for those just finished writing a first draft? 

Keep writing and make friends with writers you admire and like. I'm learning that friendships in the writing world are vital to making it through any process of writing. They are a wonderful source of encouragement and mutual learning. I cannot say how thankful I am that my writing friends and I can pray for one another. 

Ask Lyla Questions!

I am planning to do an interview of sorts with my character Lyla so that you can all get to know her a little better. I don't have an exact date for when I will do this, but it will be sometime in February.

In order to pull this together, I will need your help! Send me questions you'd like to ask Lyla. Ask about her favorites, things she's done or would like to do, all within reason of course. (I will not answer things that ask for spoilers, such as "Who is Rex?" or other such questions that give away the story. It's also too soon for me to give out too much while the story is still so new.)

Comment on the blog here, or on my Facebook page, to submit questions! I need a lot of them, so ask away!

Contentment is Submission

I think something we can all agree that we struggle with is contentment. It whatever circumstance you find yourself, there is always something you dislike about it, or perhaps just something you'd like changed in a certain way. The complaints can be petty and small at first, and we justify them. (I do think that it is important to have friendships with whom we can grow from and with, and part of that is sharing, warning, and teaching each other better ways to handle disappointments.) However, complaining should never been the foundation for any day, relationship, or circumstance in which we live. I'm saying this while shaking my finger at myself. Some days are harder to practice contentment than others.

For a while, I made myself busy with many things that distracted me from some of my personal "dead grasses" (you know, because someone else's grass is always greener). I was able to move past it, step forward... until I started tripping over rocks in my path and realized I was still walking on dead grass. A dear friend invited me over during a lunch break just about the time I started falling down over a great big boulder. I am sorry to say that because she's such a great listener, it was easy to take advantage of this gift of hers. She promised prayers but also did something else. She lent me a book called Calm My Anxious Heart, by Linda Dillow. I have yet to finish it, but was surprised that the author had lived a very stressful life of moving, hiding from persecution in dangerous countries, and fear from many outside sources. I thought, how can someone who has lived under such scary conditions, over and over, be writing about calmness?

Ms. Dillow finally shared one of her secrets of contentment: submission. Ah, the S- word. None of us (especially us women) like to hear that word; it has such twisted interpretation today. It rings of dull, puppet-like obedience without question or joy, and the degradation of our dignity under the heal of men. This is a false interpretation- submission is not the absence of joy, nor bowing to abusive treatment. A subject submits to his king, not because he is beaten and made to, but because he trusts his king. I think of it as a relationship between two people, where one is the leader and the other is the follower, in step with one another, not against one another. (Like a Godly marriage.) We do not always like what our Good King asks us to walk through, but we trust that he can see further ahead than we can, and He knows there's something better for us if we follow.

What does this mean for me? It means that contentment is not a state of constant being, it is a forward action. It is the act of submission, specifically to God's will and plan. I had never thought of submission as an action before, but now I understood it always was. It is not sitting meekly by, saying nothing, it is a choice and an animation of that choice. So when I am complaining, I am not actively submitting and I am also not trusting. If I were in complete control of my whole world, what a mess I would make it! I'd also never grow or be strengthened. Gold cannot be used unless it is purified, and purifying it means burning it with hot fire. If I submit to God, He will be with me in that fire and though it hurts I will not be broken. Even though I cannot know when it will end, I do know that it will end, and I will be stronger and shinier for it.